Love Tried To Kill Me

My girl was acting really strange towards me.

I was clueless to what was happening so I tried to fix what I felt was a problem. To my dismay, feminine emotions are a bit harder to solve than the usual math problems.

I tried my 101% best to investigate and solve the dilemma, but my girl was still giving me the cold shoulder.

Finally after a failed attempt at investigating what was wrong, I was at my wit’s end and my intense emotions were all over me. Like an enraged bull that’s charging a flirting red blanket,  I rushed towards the middle of the road and tackled the front of an incoming auto car.

I Tried To Kill Love

That was seven years ago. Now, it’s been almost five years that I’ve been single.

Ever since, I have tried to kill love. Like a hedgehog that wants to be close to another one but gets hurt in the process because of its spines, I seem to be more fragile when I become too attached to another one. So I built high towering walls. I have built my shell steel hard. I became overly cautious towards intimate relationships. Though I have heard calls from admirers, but all I offered was obliviousness. I became detached, but it was a detachment that didn’t hurt. Loneliness became my friend, but it was a friend that I can get close to.

I have killed love.

Yet little did I know that it is beyond my power to kill it.

Love Found Me, Killed Me, And Restored Me

I found out that my love was not real. I thought my love was really real, but it was not.  I can think that I can kill love, but I cannot really kill it. Instead, the real Love killed me.

Though I have tried to kill love, I discovered it kicking and breathing, but from the most unexpected place of all places: In the pages of a book.

You see, here in this book, there’s a person that calls himself “Love.” Much more, this person claims that He is God Himself. And this love is pure. This love is patient and kind. This love does not delight in wrongs. This love does not give up, but always endures against every possible and impossible thing. This love puts its partner’s highest good as its priority. This love is perfect.

Since then, I realized how a fool I am.

I now found my self a new joy-filled and restored perspective: To live this Love with all my might. To learn form it. To meditate on it. To breathe it. To share it. To be faithful to it. To let others know that such a Love exists.

 

I tried to kill love, but Love ultimately killed me.

Yet in this death I know that I am over-loved.

 

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
(Galatians 2:20)

 

 

 

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